captive

i must have wished upon a shooting star.

i asked for changes and everything’s changing.

it isn’t as easy as they seemed.  the preparation work of home removal takes a lot of energy.  a new career requires so much devotion.  n it’s harsh to be independent.  financial and emotional independence.  it’s a lonely process.  a dear friend once told me about making herself happy, even if all her beloved ones leave her.  my heart ached when i heard her say that.  such a sweet n beautiful girl she is, it took me by surprise that she is so strong and she seems to understand so well life and the world. and love.  yet i don’t know about nothing.  i can’t even be good to those who are generous to me and who love me so much.  indulged in their love i take things for granted.  knowing that doesn’t mean "understanding" that.  same logic with knowing that i’m stupid doesn’t mean i can become clever.  we learn thru suffering.  i need to bear this brief n insignificant loneliness and uncertainties.  maybe by travelling to the other shore, i’ll see the beautiful landscape in the mist.

You find something different when you are at a distance. 

The way of talking, the way of moving, the way of striking a key, the way of lighting a cigarette, the way of dressing…

All but enchantering.

Is it, hence, doomed to repel?

If I say I’m not okay I must be saying it in extravagence considering who are suffering at the same time.  It’s hard.  It’s hard.

[23 April 2006, SMCP exclusive] Yesterday in Ki Lung Street a kitten was saved from a desperate situation of being trapped above the signboard four metres above the ground.  The rescuer was not a fireman but a brave passer-by of the scene.  Onlookers surrounding the scared creature reported that the kitten had been there over night crying for help, climbing up there but failed to find its way back to the ground.  It attempted to jump but was too afraid to.  A man of abnormal height observed the situation and then took swift action to borrow a wooden ladder and climbed up trying to reach the poor animal.  Doubtful and frightened as the kitten was, trust and confidence was quickly built in this critical moment.  It came to the hand of the tall guy and landed safely on the ground.  Onlookers cheered for the heroic act.

The man who kept silent throughout the whole incident was reported to fear small animals and has mysophobia.

Down with the CPE!

I had a discussion with a French friend Fred following the CPE (first employment contract) the other day.  I think it just didn’t make sense to implement a policy that is so badly perceived by the public.  It again reinforces the importance of sophisticated public relations and communications.  Even if it is a good policy it needs to be well communicated to the public.  In this aspect the US govt is skilful, they can even convince their people to have wars one after another - not that the people are more war-prone than anyone else, they are under the sentimental influences of the politicians who are good are speeches…  I do not doubt the good intention of the PM however being a strong leader he needs to be convincing as well. 

I asked him if he thought a strong leader like Margaret Thatcher would be welcome to solve problems in France.  (Incidentally, Tao Kit also wrote about how great he thought Thatcher was in comparison to the French regime.  Sadly he was too absorbed or nostalgic in the British rule that he forgot about the adverse consequences of her regime.)  Here is his reply which I find inspiring:

“… In my opinion, this might not be a good idea in itself. Of course, a strong leader is always a good thing when the economic and political situation is getting deeply wrong. But the question is: A strong leader, yes, but in order to apply what kind of policy?  Should I remind you that Miss Thatcher was the one who brought full liberalism in Great Britain and that by doing so, she destroyed completely the power of Trade Unions, thus leaving the workers defenceless against the powers of great corporations? The economic situation might seem to be better in England than in the 80’s, but when you speak with English people now they tell you that unemployment is still there and has never left the country, and that there is a large part of the employees who have no fixed jobs, who live on a daily basis, and who really fight for their lives every day… To some extent I get the feeling that the situation in England nowadays might be compared with the situation that existed in the beginning of last century… Not in terms of harshness of working conditions, but in terms of instability: when you never know what awaits you for tomorrow because there is no clear signal that the boss you are working for today may fire you off tomorrow, well, one can think that the employment situation has worsened in comparison with what it was in the past 1960’s or early 1970 (just before the first two Oil Shocks so to speak).

So, a strong leader in order to apply the same kind of policy as Miss Thatcher’s? Or in order to apply a policy which would be more egalitarian?

Mhhh, my feeling is that the anti CPE movement might be one of the numerous signs spanning over the world that people want to get a better life, a more egalitarian world, they want to live in a world where the words: Exploitation, Underemployement, Unemployement, poor working conditions are banned. They want to choose their future, and they don’t want their future to be chosen by bureaucrats and technocrats…

Does it ring you a bell OnOn?? A British singer once wrote a song called "Imagine", he was murdered in New York, the capital of Finance and Capitalism… May be one day people might think that he was a kind of Seer…”

(F. Bottex)

While we cling to the capitalist values, it’s good to hear that some “stubborn” people try to balance that with other values e.g. enjoyment of life, personal pursuits, intellectual stimulation etc. 

A film buff like you may be too busy running from theatre to theatre. Maybe both of us are alone, sitting in an obstinate corner invisible to each other. Blind Chance. What touches you touches me. I am sure you like this film that I fell for. And I already like yours thru your kino-eye.

Su-Ki-Da is a rather melodramatic Japanese film. No matter what type of cancer or deadly accident the protagonists have, the cinematography is nicely done. There is only one thing I want to remember this film for - The guy asked the girl whom he saved the previous night from a robber when she laid drunk on the street, "What do you do when things don’t work out?" The girl paused for a moment and said, "I close my eyes and try to remember a time when I liked myself."

The Little Red Flower is adapted from Wang Shuo’s fiction with the same Chinese title (看上去很美). The children actors and actresses did a marvellous job. Childhood esp in a boarding school is in no way simple. Being an outcast among the others, the experience already foretells growing up and complex human relationships.

My friends and I went to the show of Kim Tak Building afterwards. Their studio is a hip and nice one. They had a welcome reception serving cocktail for everyone and they limited the crowd to 30 which everyone could sit rather comfortably on the floor enjoying the atmospheric music. I spent the whole time playing with a cat there, tempting her/him to catch a string. It was neat.

Thanks to my friend George I was able to watch this movie Bubble by Steven Sonderbergh… which turned out to be a startling experience for both him and myself. This art digger was taking me along to an improvisation music and dance performance BEFORE the end of the film - which he couldn’t get himself going after several summons from his awaiting friend. (He later said that we should have watched the very last scene!) This film is among the ones which you think is worth it to go to the film fest rushing from theatre to theatre. EVEN though, the dvd was on simultaneous release. Do grab that!

Here’s the synopsis:

Steven Soderbergh followed up his slick, star-studded Ocean’s Twelve, with Bubble, a small-town drama about workers in a doll factory, played by a cast of unknowns. Martha (Debbie Doebereiner) seems to have acclimated herself to a very simple life. She works at the factory, where she eats lunch with a younger co-worker, Kyle (Dustin Ashley), and goes home to take care of her elderly father. Her routine is disrupted when an attractive young woman, Rose (Misty Wilkins), is hired at the factory to help them with the holiday rush. Rose soon tells the others that she’s eager to leave their town, where there is "nothing to do." She immediately attracts Kyle’s attention. One night, Rose asks Martha to baby-sit for her two-year-old daughter while she goes out on a date. Martha is startled to learn that her date is with Kyle. When Rose returns home that night, she’s greeted by her angry ex-boyfriend, Jake (K. Smith), who accuses her of stealing from him. Martha looks on while Rose and Jake have a heated confrontation. The next morning, one of the characters is found murdered, and a detective (played by Decker Moody) begins to investigate. Bubble was written by Coleman Hough, who also scripted Soderbergh’s Full Frontal. It was shown at the 2005 New York Film Festival, presented by the Film Society of Lincoln Center. ~ Josh Ralske, All Movie Guide

The town where the story set in was sluggish. Everyone was earning a living to make ends meet. No entertainment venues besides the bar was shown. The doll factory they worked in did not seem to be able to pay the handful employees a lot but was fairly generous to its staff. It may be one of the factory-based towns in its recession possibly due to globalisation. All three protagonists have to burn the mid light oil and barely making a living. Besides operating the machine, spraying and assembling the body parts of the dolls, Kyle shoveled mud, Martha sewed doll dresses and Rose cleaned after a luxurious house. Money had been a constant problem particularly for Rose. She stole money from Kyle and suspectibly from her ex-boyfriend. She was the "meanest" person in the film especially when she yelled at Martha asking her to "mind your own business and keep reading your book" after Martha had witnessed Rose’s fight with her ex. She bathed at the rich man’s house, because of her pain in the back from work in the elderly home. It did not seem to hurt anyone to do that. Martha however saw it as something wicked and she also felt being used by her for the favours Rose asked her. Probably she felt that principally out of her affection for Kyle. Everything so sensibly human. I did not notice until G told me he felt sad for Kyle who just stayed home after work in his room with four walls - no stereo no internet. It is scary.

Throughout the film the audience have a lot of sympathy for Martha, a chubby woman in her 50s with little attraction in her appearance who worked and took good care of her father. There were a number of scenes with her eating. And after the night she babysitted Rose’s kid. So little she had, so humble of what she wanted to retain.

It was intriguing that Martha forgot about her crime, or the denial of it. And realising it suddenly. G related that to the American war crimes and conspiring in them - how people close their eyes and ears.

The persona of all three characters were depicted realisticly and the audience would feel deeply for Martha and Kyle and possibly understanding for Rose. Martha reminded me of The Fat Girl. Both ending without a resolution. Globalisation is a scary thing in which it deepens the gap between the rich and the poor even in the so-called developed countries. Looking at that desperate town I’m almost grateful that I live in shitty Hong Kong.

Just found out that in real life "Martha" worked in a drive-thru counter at the KFC in Ohio for 24 years!  On the day the producer found her KFC was launching a new burger and she made approx 500 of them on that single day.

I checked Soderbergh’s filmography to find that he directed Solaris, Kafka and Traffic, produced Che Guevara, to name a few. Got to rewatch the Eros. 

<a href="http://www.hkifflink.net" target="_new"><img height="15" alt="HKIFF Link" src="http://www.hkifflink.net/images/hkifflink_cherry.png" width="80" border="0"></a>

I greet and smile at the lady who distribute free papers in Wanchai every morning.

Comic artist Chai said that he drew trees all over his sketch book from the years 1975-77.

My cat watches birds by the window every afternoon.

A guy sits above the bridge to talk on his mobile phone every time he passes by.  Wonder if that’s his lover he was talking to.

There is a certain romance in things you do habitually, as irregularity only happens in relation to regularity.  Where irregularities happen, it becomes "special".  When others see you in your habitual behaviour, they register and it becomes a part of their visual habit.  You may be remembered as "the guy who always go to work late", "the lady who puts on the Bvlgari perfum", "the kid who complains" or "neighbor who walks the dog". 

What are you remembered as, my dear friend?

午飯時匆匆趕到藝術中心買電影節戲票,以灌溉一下久旱的異地想像和好充塞漫長的復活節假期。電影的挑選悅目,很容易便選上十套八套。《看上去很美》改編自王朔小說；《笨賊喪擒救世主》中正鄙人的笨賊情意結；《地獄莊園》提前在電影節看；《賴小子》由賈樟柯監製(!)；《有樓裝修》風趣講出理想主義實踐時頭痛又麻煩，期望有法式幽默；《魔幻三生》令人聯想或是卡爾維諾或是馬奎斯；《我的野蠻畫家》的真人真事提醒過著平凡生活的人們荒旦之可能(及可愛)…… 不容躲懶！